Metric System? Never Met Her

Help, I’m
Abroad.

A field guide for the proud American who never learned the metric system and is NOT about to start now. Convert the weird numbers, decode the local lingo, and stop nodding politely when you have genuinely no idea what 22 degrees feels like. We got you, bestie.

° C → ° Fkm → mileskg → lbsliters → gallons"where the loo at?"

“Thermostat says 22 and bestie has zero clue if that’s parka weather. Anyway.”

Celsius
68
Fahrenheit
try these:
Vibe check

Genuinely perfect. No notes. Touch grass and enjoy it.

Where you at? (lost, probably)

pick a stamp
French · Euro (€)

France

Admitted
FRA

Say "Bonjour" before literally anything else or you’re the rude one. No cap.

The rundown, in American

They drive on the
Right (like home, phew)
Money
Euro (€). Chip-and-PIN cards rule here.
Tipping
Service is included. Round up or leave coins, that’s it.
Tap water
Totally safe. Ask for "une carafe d’eau" — free tap water.
Outlets
230V, Type C/E plugs. Bring an adapter.
"1st floor" means
The floor ABOVE ground. Ground floor is your 1st.
Rookie mistake
Skipping "Bonjour." Always greet first. Always.

Talk the talk (ish)

  • Hellosay: bohn-ZHOOR
    Bonjour
  • Pleasesay: seel voo PLEH
    S’il vous plaît
  • Thank yousay: mair-SEE
    Merci
  • Yes / Nosay: wee / nohn
    Oui / Non
  • Excuse mesay: ex-kew-zay MWAH
    Excusez-moi
  • Do you speak English?say: par-lay VOO ahn-GLAY
    Parlez-vous anglais?
  • Where’s the bathroom?say: oo sohn lay twah-LET
    Où sont les toilettes?
  • How much is it?say: say kohm-bee-AHN
    C’est combien?
  • A beer, pleasesay: ewn bee-AIR, seel voo PLEH
    Une bière, s’il vous plaît
  • Cheers!say: sahn-TAY
    Santé!
  • The check, pleasesay: lah-dee-see-OHN, seel voo PLEH
    L’addition, s’il vous plaît
  • Help!say: oh suh-KOOR
    Au secours!